I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
