Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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