I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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