You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
