hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
