If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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