They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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