drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
People in love make me want to vomit
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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