I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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