he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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