so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
