sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
