You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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