Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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