I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
