Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
