RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
