so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
