All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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