I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
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After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
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Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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