If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I supernannyed him into submission
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
