I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
