I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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