i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
