Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
