ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
