i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
