So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize