i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
