from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
