I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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