I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
