Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
