We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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