Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
