is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
