Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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