so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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