i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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