My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
