I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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