My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
