I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
