I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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