I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
