Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
