I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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