so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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