sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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