What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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