you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
