my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize