now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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