I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
