If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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