So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The adults are the big ones right?
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