guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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