just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
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