im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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