Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
