I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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