for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
