Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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